(Based on image of the Wodehouse wax figure at Dulwich College)

Wodehouse quotes (2)

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and see also: Wodehouse quotes (1) and Quotes about Wodehouse

"The least thing upset him on the golf links. He missed short putts because of
the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows."

The Clicking of Cuthbert (1922)

Plums

"Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that
in Ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods."

The Story of Webster, Mulliner Nights (1933)

“One of the (King) Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night
- I cannot recall at the moment how many - made a man something,
which for the time being has slipped my memory.”

Mike and Psmith (1909 + Something Fresh (1915)

"...and all that was left of the mob-scene was the head of a whacking big fish,
lying on the carpet and staring up at me in a rather austere sort of way,
as if it wanted a written explanation and apology."

The inimitable Jeeves (1923)

“It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees
and pull them up after them.”

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

"Bill, I said, I'll tell you something about your home surroundings.
In the summer the river is at the bottom of your garden, and in the winter your garden is
at the bottom of the river."

Ring for Jeeves (1963)

"As I sat in the bath tub, soaping a meditative foot and singing, if I remember correctly,
"Pale Hands I Loved Beside the Shalimar," it would be deceiving my public to say
that I was feeling boomps-a-daisy."

Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit (1954)

"He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled,
he was far from being gruntled, so I tactfully changed the subject."

The Code of the Woosters (1938)

"No wonder Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of
Tolstoi's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father,
beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city reservoir, he turns to the cupboard,
only to find the vodka-bottle empty."

Jill the Reckless (1922)

"If this is Upper Silesia, what must Lower Silesia be like?."

WW2 Broadcasts (1941)

"Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing gloves."

Very Good, Jeeves (1930)

"Bradbury Fisher shuddered from head to foot, and his legs wobbled like asparagus stalks."

The Heart of a goof (1926)

"It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel
is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona
and listens for the echo."

Cocktail Time (1958)

"He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn
and bite him in the leg."

Eggs, Beans and Crumpets (1940)

"Mike nodded. A sombre nod.
The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had med him in 1812 and said,
"So, you're back from Moscow, eh?" "

Mike and Psmith (1953)

"What a curse these social distinctions are. They ought to be abolished.
I remember saying that to Karl Marx once, and he thought there might be an idea for a book in it."

Quick Service (1940)

"He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years
or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble."

Blandings Castle (1935)

"Old Bassett had been listening to these courtesies with a dazed expression on the map
- gulping a bit from time to time, like a fish that has been hauled out of a pond on a bent pin
and isn't at all sure it is equal to the pressure of events."

The Code of the Woosters (1938)

"Oh, hullo, Upjohn," I said. "Yoo-hoo!"
"Who you?" he responded, making it sound like a reverse echo.

Jeeves in the Offing - 1960

"Nature, stretching Horace Davenport out, had forgotten to stretch him sideways,
and one could have pictured Euclid, had they met, nudging a friend and saying.
"Don’t look now, but this chap coming along illustrates exactly what I was telling you
about a straight line having length without breadth."

Uncle Fred in the Springtime (1939)

"Good God Clarence. You look like a bereaved tapeworm. What's the matter?"

Heavy Weather - 1933

"Even at the Drones Club, where the average of intellect is not high,
it was often said of Archibald that, had his brain been constructed of silk,
he would have been hard put to it to find sufficient material to make
a canary a pair of cami-knickers"

"There was another throbbing silence,
broken only by the beating of two hearts and the wheezing of the bulldog,
who seemed to suffer a good deal in his bronchial tubes."

The Reverent Wooing of Archibald / Mr. Mulliner Speaking - 1929

"I’ve just become a Socialist. It’s a great scheme. You ought to be one.
You work for the equal distribution of property and start by collaring all you can and sitting on it."

Mike (1909)

"Coming down to first causes, the only reason why collisions of any kind occur
is because two bodies defy Nature's law that a given spot on a given plane
shall at a given moment of time be occupied by only one body."

Something Fresh (1915)

"Mac had many admirable qualities, but not tact.
He was the sort of man who would have tried to cheer Napoleon up
by talking about the Winter Sports at Moscow."

Summer Lightning (Fish Preferred) 1929

"Such good news about Vladimir Brusiloff."
"Dead?" said Cuthbert, with a touch of hope.

The Clicking of Cuthbert (1922)

"No novelists any good except me. Sovietski - yah! Nastikoff - bah! I spit me of zem all.
No novelists anywhere any good except me. P G Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad.
Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me."

The Clicking of Cuthbert (1922)

It is too much to say that there was a dead silence.
There could never be that in any room in which Vladimir Brusiloff was eating cake.

The Clicking of Cuthbert (1922)

The two men parted with a distant nod. I beg your pardon?
Yes, you are right. Two distant nods.
It was always a failing of mine to count the score erroneously.

The Clicking of Cuthbert (1922)

"I killed him with my niblick", said Celia.
I nodded. If the thing was to be done at all, it was unquestionably a niblick shot.

The Clicking of Cuthbert (1922)

"Whatever may be said in favour of the Victorians, it is pretty generally admitted
that few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks"

Summer Moonshine (1938)

"..Jeeves smiled paternally. Or rather he had a kind paternal muscular spasm about the mouth,
which is the nearest he ever gets to smiling"

My Man Jeeves (1919)

" "Matter?" he said, inserting three Ms at the beginning of the word."

Ring for Jeeves - 1953/54

"He gaped at her, quivering in every limb. Jeeves had he been present,
would have been reminded of Macbeth seeing the ghost of Banquo."

Ring for Jeeves - 1953/54

" "Damn it all," he bellowed, "why shouldn't I groan"
I believe Rowcester Abbey is open for being groaned in at about this hour,
is it not? ..."

Ring for Jeeves - 1953/54

"One recalls the nostalgic words of the poet Kipling, when he sang
"Put me somewhere east of Suez, where the best is like the worst,
where there ain't no then commandments and a man can raise
a small bristly moustache."

Original:
Ship me somewhere East of Suez, where the best is like the worst
Where there aren't no Ten Commandments an' a man can raise a thirst

Ring for Jeeves - 1953/54

"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability
to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky,
manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."

Uneasy Money (1916/1917)

"From his earliest years there has always been something distinctive and individual about Gussie's timbre,
reminding the hearer partly of an escape from a gas pipe and partly of a sheep calling to its young
in the lambing season."

The Code of the Woosters (1938)

"Gussie and I, as I say, had rather lost touch, but all the same I was exercised about the poor fish,
as I am about all my pals, close or distant, who find themselves treading upon Life's banana skins."

Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

"One is reminded of the words of the poet, which I have forgotten at the moment."

Bachelors Anonymous (1973)

"Haven't you met him?" said Gally.
"No," said Lord Emsworth, who never met anyone, if he could help it.

Plum Pie / Sticky Wicket at Blanding (1966)

"The sun broke through the clouds. Miss Weyder dimpled charmingly, ..."

How Kid Brady Joined the Press (1905-1907)

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"For Mr. Wodehouse there has been no fall of Man; no "aboriginal calamity." His characters have never
tasted the forbidden fruit. They are still in Eden. The gardens of Blandings Castle are that original garden
from which we are all exiled.
... Mr Wodehouse's idyllic world can never stale. He will continue to release future generations from captivity
that may be more irksome than our own. He has made a world for us to live in and delight in."

Evelyn Waugh (1961)

And that is the spirit in which the content of this page aspires to be presented.

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